JUST TESTED

It’s been two weeks I guess since we spent half a night together. I enjoyed it, guess you too. Wasn’t planned, but we just wanted to have fun and we did. A week later to hear you say I have infected you with an STD was heart breaking but we were mature about it. I knew it wouldn’t have been me because I have kept sober for a while. I didn’t use protection just cos I also believed you and we were just that much into each other.

 

Like I told you, if I didn’t know you that well, I would have said this is just a ploy for you to dump me. But I really don’t think you will do such a thing. I thought you would get tested and get prescribed drugs since you were the one with the symptoms. Yes, we all decided to get tested and truly I have no symptoms, so was wondering why I should, but to be on the safer side I agreed.

 

Now two weeks later, you have not tested yet you came back accusing me that you are sure it came from me. Because of how white my semen looked. It was hurtful, but hey, that’s your take on this whole issue. But what hurts more was how you defend your stand about how sure you were it was me. Like really? Even at a point I was thinking it might be really me, that’s why I apologised. But even as at now we both haven’t tested and I couldn’t sit for you to have that impression of me for the rest of your life. Especially when I know your accusation is false.

 

All I had in my account was 200ghc which I had to use for some responsibilities, but I didn’t just care but to prove you wrong. The walk to Marie Stopes for the STD test which I thought will always be difficult if I make my mind to ever have one was as easy as a,b,c because I just wanted to get evidence to prove you wrong.

 

The test was fast, met people who were so shy being there and I know they will wonder why I was so courageous waiting to get tested. It was with much pride I sent you the results of the test which all proved negative. You were shocked right. I am happy I proved you wrong and it gave me some great level of confidence. Well, life goes on.

 

HOLYRAY

Twitter: @holyholyray 

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YOU CAN’T DO THAT ANYMORE

two-friends

As usual, I walked through Kaneshie to work every morning. Normal stress, I walk across the overhead bridge and get a bus to my final destination. Then I noticed two men hold hands walking pass me. They are probably friends and seem they are not even aware of how strange people see such nice gestures of late.

As the men passed by me I realized it’s hard for you to see two men hold or even just have hands on their shoulders while walking in town in recent times. Growing up I saw male friends do that so normally now it’s almost a non-written taboo. Yes, due to the fact that it is believed ‘man to man’ relationship are on the increase and to prevent being tagged with such perception brothers can’t just be brothers. Well, you don’t need to be blood related in recent times to call a good friend a brother.

I have some good brothers, two very close ones and the rest just close, per my enlightenment, especially this year I don’t think I belong to the group of men who will please society and be controlled by its perceptions. When you are friends with someone you joke, misbehave and just enjoy each other’s company. That’s how friendship is supposed to be.

Even now if you have a close male friend people cook up conspiracy theories to it, yet growing up most of our fathers had this one friend they always move with. It was even a delight to see your dad’s best male friend come for a visit because you know he won’t leave without giving you money. Day in day out it is getting difficult to have such friends because of society.

You should just live your life, because society is also living ‘his’.

HOLYRAY

Twitter: @holyholyray

Email: holyray99@gmail.com

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JUST LIKE HER

I was on my way from lunch, having my thoughts in my head as always, my head was down for a while. Then I raised up my head, lo and behold I walked towards this young girl, and am sure she is at the junior high school. First I thought she was just beautiful, I just laughed it off in my head how by now most of the young boys will be fighting for her attention in school. Then as she got closer to me and I watched her face closely, although she wasn’t aware of me staring, I realised why she caught my attention, especially that nose of hers.

 

I wasn’t crushing on the little girl; no way she is too young for me. She looked just like my first official love. That nose, the pretty face, body size and how she took her steps. As she passed by me, I just smiled and shook my head as I walked to the office. As I walked, I remembered my first love; I fell in love at quite an early age when you come to this part of the world. One day I might write a whole piece about her and what that relationship meant to me, but today I just remembered how it use to be when I was in love with my first love.

 

It was the purest of love I think I will ever have. As madly in love as we were, we never demanded anything from each other. We didn’t need any sexual commitment to prove our love. Faithfulness was like our hobby; just seeing each other was more than high. Yes, we had our quarrels and arguments, which was even sweeter. For close to six years I enjoyed this very pure love. We fought and got mad over very silly things, like seeing each other and just saying hi. One quarrel that always brought me trouble was why I walk home from school with a female friend who lives in the same neighbourhood with me. We met when we were both attending the same school till I changed schools. We had friends in each other’s school and these friends ended up being spies for us. Some information’s they shared I will say rather did more harm than good to us.

 

But we stood the test of time; we were just two innocent souls in love. Communication technology wasn’t that great like now, we hardly saw or heard from each other, but it was like we had legally signed an agreement that never made us question the love for each other. Yes, jealousy got the best part of us sometimes, but we always fell back into each other’s lives and as young as we were many friends looked to us like role models. Hahahhahahhaha sweet memories I would want to keep just like that. I never thought I will ever get over her, I would have sworn I will never have found love after her. But here I am today, I don’t even remember the last time we spoke or saw her picture.

 

Not that she is far away; she talks with my little brother from time to time. They say time changes things. Well, she will still be my sweet innocent love forever having a place in my heart with memories I will never forget. Maybe I will hit her up after this just to check on her.

 

My first official love.

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BROKEN LINK

By the time of my birth some years ago I could boast of 4 grandparents, both each from my parents. Must have been that fun I guess having four proud parents knowing I am the continuation of their lives one day when they are no longer alive.

From day one I was the favourite of my paternal grandfather, in his early 90 guess he was beginning to accept that he might not have a grandson from any of his sons before he passes on.  As a typical African and Ghanaian the son of your son is deemed more as heir than that of your daughter. Due to the fact that the son of your son will carry no your name but the son of your daughter carries on the name of their father. Till date my mother tells me of very sweet memories of my paternal grandfather and how he goes all the way out to show me love. Time there say flies fast when you having a god time, my paternal grandfather passed away a year after my birth. Did I mourn? Well I never even knew or noticed. He might not be here but I do love him that much back for the many stories I hear about him and me, and the character traits we both possess I know he is looking down at me smiling, shaking his head and saying stop being like me.

My maternal grandparents were all I really knew when it came to grandparents while growing up. They were very active in my life because I was growing up with two working parents. They is this story my mother teases with me a lot; I was very little then think 3 or 4 years. She was on leave and my dad had been posted to Kumasi by then, so she went to spend her leave of 3 months with dad in Kumasi leaving me with my grandparents. Mind you even whiles she is here I was with my grandparents and mum comes for me mostly on weekends. So when she got back from Kumasi after three months away I had completely forgotten about her. She says she lured me with all she could but I couldn’t even remember her, until she brought out shoes she bought for me and if not for the persuasion of my grandfather who asked me to go for the shoes from her I didn’t want to get near her.  That was me and my maternal grandparents.

My maternal grandmother (may God bless her soul) passed on first then 9 years later my maternal grandfather also did pass on.  During my last 10 years I would say I have gotten to know or see more of my paternal grandmother.  Various occasions have made it available for us to try and catch up for the lost years we weren’t in each other’s lives.  She is the only surviving grandparent I have today, I remember one boss of mine tell me Ray, treasure the moments you have with her now because when she is gone you will miss the opportunity not taken. I have thought around those lines too. I have made some initiatives some times to treasure the moment as much as I could. But truth be told the connection is not that great like that of my maternal because of the lost times during my childhood. Sometimes I forget she really does exist, but I have cousins who because they built a relationship with her during their childhood relate to her just like I did with my maternal grandparents. Recently she was sick and I had to call her. What she said really did get to me, broke me and got me thinking. She was crying and I asked her not to cry and she said to me ‘if you give birth and your son or grandson don’t even check or care about you, you will understand why I am crying’

It was hurting for me, but how did we get here was my question. I don’t think I stand to be blamed; my dad has issues with granny I won’t lie about that. The consequence of that might have been why I and my grandmother find ourselves in this situation today. I am trying to make things right but I can’t pretend it feels like my maternal grandparents. I know one day she might not be here anymore and I will do my possible best, but no matter how I try making it too reality stares in my face. Well I will do my best.

 

HOLY RAY

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HMMMMMM

This week has been fairly difficult, a week ago my brother called to drop a bomb shell he took time to tell me. It was difficult for him because he had to prove to his own self that he was 100% right. As soon as I picked his called he just said it, ‘She is doing it again’. My first response although fake cos I knew what he was clearly saying, was just to give him a second chance to say how I understood it was wrong.

 

But I wasn’t, yes she was doing it again. But who could she? For the second time!!! You don’t treat folks like that. My brother first told me about her cheating some months back. Maybe a year, was really hard for him. Sleepless nights alongside very busy working schedules. We hatched a plan and he caught her red handed, yet she claimed innocence. I told him straight to the face to move on. She came trying to talk me into her come back but I just didn’t want to get involved. By then I had just or was getting over a very painful break up where the very core of my dignity was insulted. I understood the feeling; I made it clear I wasn’t going to allow her back into his life again.

 

Weeks passed and they got back together, he forgave her and they got back. I told him it will happen again and when it did he shouldn’t come telling me. I won’t want to hear the crappy story again. The girlfriend said I was the one instigating the whole thing, well I careless, he open up about the whole issue when he had so much evidence that clearly pointed to her cheating ways. He was the one who knocked sense into my head when I was hanging on to my ex who wasn’t ashamed of her cheating ways and insulted my very being to the ultimate. So if he finds himself in a similar situation I don’t see why I shouldn’t let him know the truth no matter how hard it is.

 

Well my brother couldn’t tell me when they got back together; I never also discussed the issue with him. To me she was dead and gone. They can get married; I will still be my brother’s best man but might care less for her. Well another close friend intervened on the issue and I made peace with his girl. We were one big happy family again, for him to tell me she is doing it again is a big blow and this time around too he has evidences to proof. But this time I felt sorry for him, I felt his pain, it’s like being struck in the same wound twice or more. Am sure she will swear heaven and earth about this one also. But as it stands even if she is innocent, the trust is gone. He would have to be watching over his shoulders all the time and over thinking over things that might be true or not true. You can’t ask to be trusted but you build trust.

 

It been a week since my brother told me, he decided he will break up with her before even telling me, but just like the first one am sure she will yell am polluting his mind. The thing is he planned which day to break up with her, for a week now he had it planned, sadly wish it was all just not true but seems his mind is made up. I can’t even imagine who he will cope in the relationship if he doesn’t break up with her. It been a week I knew, by now he is breaking up with her. He called me on his way to her place. I pray he finds strength and peace to deal with it. He did his best to save and sustain this relationship but he can’t any more. Such is life; people will hurt you but its all part of the process.

 

 

HOLYRAY

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SUNDAY THE 20th

It’s a normal Sunday night, nothing extra O. Been staring into ma laptop almost all day. Did laundry in the morning and back to the series I just started watching. I didn’t like it as first but wooow what a great mistake I would have done to have deleted it like I had wanted to. I just started and it’s just one of those I love.

I just woke up from a long doze I will say. On the floor tiles still with a pillow, my laptop has the series paused and the TV on. I can’t remember the exact moment I drifted into sleep but I guess after this episode I will have to sleep.  I packed my stuff and off to bed. For me all I had to finish was the episode and sleep.

Am done with the episode but staring in my face is the need to do something I haven’t done in a while. I miss it very dearly but maybe am just keeping away from it myself. Or maybe it’s also a learning stage, I don’t really know. But sorry I can’t be writing it all in my dairy too. I can see my brother, his girlfriend and one other female who wants to be mentioned but I am not mentioning her name screaming what really is this thing am talking about. Am not saying what exactly it is.

I just want to know from others everyone if we all have somethings we use to do, love to do and crave to do but due to some circumstances within or beyond our control we find I difficult doing. Life is rather funny at times

I took some few minutes hoping to write all about this, but seem my guts to pour it all out isn’t big enough to finish the assignment.  Seems I will be sleeping soon not giving into my craving and longings, I have been good at that lately. Sooner or later this craving will leave and come another time or I will just have some fun. Either which way this is life nothing should surprise you anymore.

 

 

 

HOLYRAY

Twitter: @holyholyray

Email: holyray99@gmail.com

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MIA IS PREGNANT

When it comes to MIA we beat our chest in pride and class. Mia had a few suitors coming now and then to woo her. Some parents even forced their male off springs to come visit Mia just so she falls in love with them. But like the Princess Mia was trained to be she never gave in. It was such an honour and pride that Mia grew up to be just what we dreamed of. All we ever wanted was for Mia to fall in love and settle with a male of the same social standing as us.

 

Finally we met Rocky, his parents befriended Mia’s mother first who is a single parent then me her god father & uncle. We knew their intentions but we pretended not to know. Of course they had the same social standing as us. We were happy we will be marrying Mia into a well to do family like ours.

 

Mia and Rocky become friends and got close. I remember several times telling Mia to get pregnant to seal this deal permanently and forever. Now Mia’s mother could even drive and drop Mia at Rocky’s house on weekends. The two families started bonding together. I could remember all the goodies it came with. Family dinners in expensive restaurants and weekend hangouts in beautiful places all over the country.

 

The many gifts that were showered upon us were freaky amazing, from the very latest iPhones to designer clothes. What Rocky and his family was looking out for most was an heir to all their wealth. Let me not even forget all the exotic places in the world we travelled to, my best moments were the beautiful islands we spent weeks and weekends of fun. The very expensive hotels around the world we slept in. It was just magical. Every day we looked out for possible signs of Mia getting pregnant.

 

So in early November when Mia stated feeling slightly sick, feverish and had this terrible cold we thought the heir is in. We rejoiced and popped the best expensive champagne we could find in Ghana. Our dreams was finally about to be sealed forever. I was looking out for my grandniece or nephew to whom I will also be a god father. Mia’s mother started arranging for the biggest baby shower Ghana will ever witness. We were just excited and so was Rocky and his family.

 

It now about two months, Rocky’s father now arranged for a doctor to check on Mia. So we took Mia to the doctor for check-up.

 

The results of the check-up proved Mia wasn’t pregnant. MIA!!! How can you do this to us? Now Rocky and his family are so mad at us. They claim we used them and told them lies, lured them with pregnancy. Today we are the laughing stock of our neighbourhood. Mia should have made us know she wasn’t pregnant yet. Now all the goodies we enjoyed would cease. Hmmm

 

Well we can’t blame Mia. DOGS CAN’T TALK. We should have sent Mia to a vet to test for pregnancy. Well Mia is the dog of my bestie and since Rocky’s owners might not be interested in having Rocky cross Mia again. We are looking for another good looking male dog belonging to an elite 1st class family in Ghana. As you have read all that we benefitted from Rocky please don’t approach if you can’t do more than Rocky’s owners.

 

You can send over a proposal through my mail with details of your dog with pictures. Thank You for your cooperation.

 

HOLYRAY

Twitter: @holyholyray

Email: holyray99@gmail.com

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